Few of us could name the last five Heisman Trophy winners. Or ten people who have won a Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. Yesterday's headlines fade quickly. But you could list a few teachers who helped shape you, the friends who helped you through a difficult time, those who taught you something worthwhile, or people you enjoy spending time with. The people who matter the most are those who cared the most for us.

In Philippians 2:21, Paul lamented that "All seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus." This is in contrast to what he said in Philippians 2:3: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself." That's a wonderful passage, but it's really difficult to actually esteem others more than ourselves.

"All seek their own" means simply: Everybody is selfish. Who was Paul referring to here? I believe he was speaking of Christians, not the unbelieving world. Paul knew that it's easy to say all the right things, but everyone has their own agenda. Not those who are of Jesus.

Over a thousand years ago, a French cleric named Bernard of Clairvaux, said there are four stages of Christian maturity. First, love of self for one's own sake. Second, love of God for one's own sake. Third, love of God for God's sake. Finally, love of self for God's sake.

Many of us stay stuck in stage two. We love God for our own sake because He makes us feel good. As long as God gives us what we think He ought to, our love remains. But if He doesn't, that love may go away. It's love of God for the sake of ourselves, not for Him, not for His glory—it's all about us.

Think of it this way. All of us live in one of two places, either in Philippians 1:21, "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain" or Philippians 2:21, "All seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus".

It's like, you're turning twenty-one. Which twenty-one are you turning—1:21 or 2:21?

Inspirational author and poet, Ruth Calkin, wrote a prayer that has stuck with me for years: "You know, Lord, how I serve You with great emotional fervor, in the limelight. You know how eagerly I speak for You at a women's club. You know how I shine when I promote a fellowship group. You know my genuine enthusiasm at a Bible study. But how would I react, I wonder, if You pointed to a basin of water and asked me to wash the calloused feet of a bent and wrinkled old woman, day after day, and month after month, in a room where nobody saw and nobody knew."

I was deeply convicted when I first read it, and I still am. Only the Lord knows if I'm in 1:21 or 2:21. I think we all strive to be in 1:21. My hope is that we are growing beyond Bernard of Clairvaux's stage two, into three and four.

Remember Jesus said to His followers, "No longer do I call you servants…but I have called you friends" (John 15:15). So, ask God to change you—to make you the kind of mature person, child of God, friend of God, that He wants you to be.

Our lives would become even more fruitful, blessing other people, if we all lived in 1:21.