As Christians, we should be much better than non-believers at getting along with others. But often we aren’t. That's because every Christian is someone who is going through an internal struggle with their flesh—and sometimes the flesh wins.

The church isn't made up of perfect people. We are redeemed people who are working through the imperfections that are part of our fallen human nature. In God's Word, we find an acknowledgement our struggle and guidance for life.

In Romans 12:18, Paul wrote, "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." And Philippians 2 provides the basis for good relationships: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" (vv. 3-4).

First, let's consider what not to do. Number one, don't be selfish. Selfishness begins as a seed. If it's left waiting for redemption and is never properly cultivated, it will bear a self-centered individual. It's the root of every other sin, and it's at the very heart of our broken human nature.

Second, don't be prideful. Conceited people puff themselves up with pride, but it's a cancer of the soul. Paul wrote that we should not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think, but soberly instead (see Romans 12:3).

These two things—selfishness and conceit—are the reasons Satan was kicked out of heaven. Isaiah 14 says that Satan desired to exalt himself above God. That's selfish ambition and conceit. You're never more like the Devil than when you choose those characteristics.

But there is another way. You're never more like Jesus than when you display the positive characteristics we see in His Word and example.

James 4:6 and 1 Peter 5:5 both say, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Philippians 2 says Jesus "humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross" (see v. 8). Humility is the antidote for pride. 

Philippians 2 describes humility as thinking of ourselves with a "lowliness of mind" (see v. 3). Humility isn't thinking poorly about yourself—humility is not thinking about yourself. The secret to having joy, despite the difficult people around us, is humility.

When we put ourselves first, we suffer, but when we're focused on each other, we flourish. Philippians 2 puts it this way, "Let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others" (see vv. 3-4).

This isn't an easy practice; it goes against our human nature. So how do we do it? When we approach people with our own baggage and sin in mind, we approach them with esteem and respect.

As Paul wrote, "I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God" (1 Corinthians 15:9). He approached others carrying what he knew about himself, and that deflated him.

Because you belong to Christ, you should be humble with others. You're in Christ Jesus. He loves you. He forgave you. He washed your sins away. Practice humility, and esteem others the way He esteems you.

So, what difference has Jesus' love for you made in your life? Has He made you more loving? More giving?

From now on, make this the basis of your relationships: Accept others because Jesus has accepted you.